Search for Summer & A & B & C & D!!!!

Cant blame a girl for trying...

2008-02-07T09:21:00.000-08:00

So Im not one who gets sick often but last night I was almost comotose laying on my laptop at midnite with the sound blasting so I wouldnt miss our meeting online so MVT guy could call. In the end it was over before it started. Got a really bad connection and all he heard was that she sent her response in letter form back to one of the contacts who helped get our intial letter to her in first place.
NOT NO exactly... but NOT YES either!!!
That contact will email it to us as soon as she gets the letter.

WHAAA! I was feeling so miserable that it was all I could do to log off and crawl back to bed. I had just seen Oprah yesterday on THE SECRET.
A man had lost his job so his wife threw a celebratory party!! (in faith that it was meant to be!)
DETERMINED & DECIDING NOT TO FEEL SORRY FOR MY SELF ..
I layed there and kept saying over & over
"Rejection is God's protection...."
"Disappointment only means something bigger is coming along..."
"thank you that we are still in the game"
"Gee at least its getting warmer in Siberia by the day.. any delay means warmer weather..."

I was one BIG MOTIVATIONAL CLICHE.

But this morning the sun has risen and it's a new day. MVT guy left for Russia today & I was half tempted to just email the judge and ask

CAN I HAVE HER NOW???

how about now?

what about now??

so much for plans to win over the director... PLAN L,M,N,O,& P COMING UP!

sign me: ALL DRESSED WARM AND NOWHERE TO GO

TICK TOCK ... CANT SIT STILL!

2008-02-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Tonite we are going to call the orphanage director.
We just recieved confirmation that the letter was delivered to her.
So many things going thru my mind!!!
Im ready to jump on a plane the minute she says yes.
We have decided to email the judge's office to let them know I will be visiting. Who knows what they will say but we think its best not to appear like we are trying to going around the MOE ( Ministry of Education)
MVT guy is going to Russia tomorrow so we have a VERY narrow window to try & get through. The phone lines to Siberia ( especially in winter) arent the best. Stay tuned!

HERE WE WAIT AGAIN!

2008-01-31T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, so today is one week since we sent a letter to the orphanage director asking for permission to visit. We had to hand deliver it and it's NOT FAST should she choose to write back so we are going to try calling today ( its actuall FRI there already) There is no telling what she will say, but I feel that since she was open to the searchers visiting surely she'd allow me to come in person. We cant move forward on visas or plans of any sort until we know she will allow this visit. So hard to sit back & let others call all the shots! ARGH! LOL I have to laugh seeing as there are still so many hurdles to overcome. It will be nothing short of amazing to watch all this come together!
Cool story from yesterday.. I was running behind as I packed up my stuff & Summer and was heading to work when the Expedition wouldnt start!
Normally I dont drive the Porsche with Summer (for safety reasons) but I had no choice.Anyway when I got off the sun was peeking out & she BEGGED me to put the top down. We blasted the radio and she was singing & dancing like no tomorrow! At a stop light she was chattering to the lady next to us
"We are driving with the top down!!! This is a PORCH car!!!" it was so cute. Then the song came on
" I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN..." well she picked right up and was siging the chorus when we just HAPPENED to pass the DFACS office. Out front was the sign "ADOPT TODAY!"
(I'm TRYING HONEY!!)
the VERY sign that got us started on being foster parents
that led us to adopting Summer.
WHEW surreal I tell you!

Happiness is finding joy & inspiration on the simple ride home.

Ok going to find Vigilante Translator Guy to see what's UP in Siberia!!!

Adoption video now ready to watch!

2008-01-24T06:30:00.001-08:00

Hey all! I finally finished Summer's story!
Go to my websiteb www.ImagesbyRainy.com
click on " Adoption show"
then make sure you right click & select FULL SCREEN!
TURN UP THE MUSIC & GRAB SOME TISSUE!!!!

STAND BACK I'M GOING IN!!

2008-01-24T05:02:00.000-08:00

w-o-w!
So a while back I said I had a secret up my sleeve.. it has taken on a life of it's own! If you have been following this whole saga you will remember that my friend VOTEMOM was instrumental in helping me pick the region we adopted Summer from. She & some missionaries had gone & built swing sets for the orphanages.Her adoption tale is not for the faint hearted but suffice to say it ended in the most incredible way with her bringing home two adorable baby girls just recently. Fast forward three years...

here's where we stand
-The judge has turned down our requests to adopt Ali twice because there was another sister involved who is now out of the orphanage.
- Independent adoption is all but non-existent (still technically LEGAL just not done much & frowned upon)
- There are no agencies that even go to this very remote region!
-The agency we used the first time went belly up and are facing fraud charges, let's be nice & simply state that there is a place in
you-know- where for folks who take $$ and use innocent children for ill gotten gain. So basically no help from them.
-The search team made contact with Ali & the orphanage and we thought it paved the way for lots of contact etc. however this has not been the case. We cant even get anyone to mail stuff there!
- I didnt want to just be a peice of paper to the judge once again so..one night at about 3am I tried googling te small town she lives in . being so remote not much showed up. But then.. a blog from American missionaries who were BIKING thru Siberia!! ( good grief!) they had stopped in Blago where my daughter is from to do a service and then headed north to the next town. Apparently word got out that they were coming and much to their surprise many people lined the streets in a town they hadnt even planned on stopping at! The begged them to stay & do a service. So they did.. you guessed it ! it was her small town!! try not even on a map! wowowow! So google pulled up their blog and wham! I got the idea of my life!!
WHY NOT TRY & USE THE
MISSIONARIES????
I flew to the phone later that morning (not everyone appreciates my epiffanies at a such an early hour!!!) and called Votemom who in turn gave me some emails.
but OH HONEY!! not JUST addresses!!
without saying too much, I will tell you that this one gentleman is quite what the doctor ordered! He is a man of God, LOCAL, and has actually adopted himself from the same region!!
Of course you can imagine how fast I latched on to that!!!

( one degree shy of stalker-ism!!!)
ok ok ok so we have written back & forth ( did I mention he just HAPPENS to read & write fluent English??) & I shared how if I could just meet Ali & get to know her & the director maybe the judge would allow our adoption. Could he help me get a letter to them?
What a kind, gracious man!
So last Mon I was so completely OVER this whole anxious waiting game ( I mean come on people!! we are living out of boxes waiting to move into a larger house so she can have a space of her own) It's getting old. I decided the garden variety prayers had to go!
"Please God if its your will bring her to my door so we arent inconvieneced and we will make a home for her"...
that night it was more like
"OK I'm a woman on the edge here. If you want me to bring that child home I will do ANYTHING, let's get this show on the road!"
I decided to name her. I know, dont say it..
" What if she doesnt want a new name? or Isn't that pre-mature?"

I am naming her so she is real and there are no options to fail. This kid WILL have a home.She can choose later what she wants to be called but I was on a mission!
Tues morning I got an email from him suggesting that I just need to come visit. Thats right, NO GUARANTEES
just stop.. get on a plane
(did I mention that its WINTER in Siberia?
& that I'm still cold from my last trip???)
at first my wildly weenie-like brain rejected this as pure nonsense! Afterall, I wanted the judge to say COME & GET HER! It's a done deal!

nice & neat

is how I like my life lessons thank you very much! ;)

but suddenly my heart starting pounding
& I realized that this is
EXACTLY what I had to do.
funny sidenote. it wasnt until like the next day when I noticed that my expensive watch had stopped ticking at the very moment I read his email.!! ooohh eeeee oooohh!
days later I just stare at it and think of the ramifications.. but alas I need a new battery!

ok so where were we?
Last year Maverick Vigilante Translator (wont use your real name but your new title will now be MVT) lol... that did our search team report had a personal crisis and needed to be in NY immediately. So I gave him a buddy pass. Note: I dont usually start corresponding & sending gifts to folks I meet on the internet but hey the guy needed some help and I just HAPPENED to have a pass left that we had been saving for Russia.Anyway we joked & always said he'd go with me to translate & stuff when the time came. Well... unbeknownst to me he has been sent to Russia to help with some searches the SAME time I am planning to go! Oh AND.. remember the eerrie voicemail that was left on my phone playing the song "THERE WILL BE NO WHITE FLAG ABOVE MY DOOR?"

you HAVE TO, HAVE TO scroll back and read THAT post!!!titled "SURREAL"
My dear frind AMANDA left it accidently one morning... anyway for months she has been trying to complete the sale of her substantial family business. It has drug out forever. Suddenly last Fri she is scheduled to close that day!
I called and said want to go to Russia? and it just so HAPPENS she is now free and ready to go on a minutes notice!

feel spared my friends!In my life things happen at such a fast pace and you know Im QUEEN WEENIE and one of YOU would've HAD to go with me!
as a funny coincidence (I think NOT!) just this morning I recieved an email from a complete stranger off the adoption boards sending me a link to some missionaries he thought might be able to help me!!

OK OK I GET IT! Even Todd who is normally, shall we say, slightly more conservative than me? says
"I think you should go."
WHOA! now if y'all lived woth me day in & day out you probably think he was just trying to get some peace & quiet but hey its a SIGN trust me!

stay with me here.
We had to write to the director to ask permission to visit the orphanage of course ( thanks MVT for translating & sending letter so fast!)
but I hardly think that will be an issue,
now that the planets have aligned and I've conquered my fears to actually GO!
We hope to go in FEB right around the corner! so much to do!
STAY TUNED!
next up
- co-ordinating a driver/ translator/tickets/passports/ visas/ learn Russian for Dummies/ find care for the 5 kids we leave behind! Go read "MELTDOWN AT TARGET" about my attempts to learn the language & buy gifts for the orphanage!!

the letter was mailed today
HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS this ride is just beginning!

PUSHING HARD ON THE WALL OF NO.

2007-12-13T11:44:00.000-08:00

SIGH.. Sitting here listening to Christmas music, I caught up on several of my favorite adoption blogs.
I am overcome with happiness for my friend Lisa who has FINALLY gone to bring her girls home!! She had started out in Blago along with us almost three ( can it be?) years ago. Finally the circle is complete. There were 6 families caught up in the Blago mess. I managed to get Summer home as did one other family ( read earlier posts about them!) Three families went on to adopt from other regions/countries & one family adopted from the US foster care system. You simply cannot write this stuff!
update. It turns out that Ali (as we now refer to her) is so far into Siberia that no one literally goes there no Fed-Ex, DHL, or even mail for all we know. I am stumped as to what to do next. We had really hoped to send more letters & pictures and try to get to know the orphanage director before officially requesting the judge to adopt her
(for what will be the third time)
So many unknowns..
Each time I sit down to try & write a letter to the judge I just cant. How can I put everything into words?
This isnt just a peice of paper to be taken lightly.
He has said no twice before ..
I need him to change his heart!

We are in the middle of trying to move into a bigger house ( yes partly for her)so we are living out of boxes, trying to sell our house and then the not knowing about Ali, well let's just say it's hard some days.
I truly believe if there is a way I WILL FIND IT!
I have a little plan up my sleeves. Will let you in on it in a few days...

The boys have come around and I dare say look forward to having a new sister! Summer prays to God. "Please bring Ali home"
She draws her pix and I try in vain to explain we cant send them!

Anyway please keep her in your thoughts! Thank you to my friends who encourage me so with their stories of steadfastness and success.
I have seen sad journeys turn to happy ones and I'm claiming that for us as well!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ER- I MEAN BIRTHDAY!

2007-11-05T12:42:00.001-08:00

So A turned 10 on Halloween. My computer totally crashed
so I missed my conference with our searcher /translator
who was going to help me call the orphanage
(remember we never have gotten through)
My life is on that computer so I was
being talked off a ledge by my staff.
Unbeknowst to me, he called without me!
( thanks dude!!!) and said the director seemed pleased
(but not giddy!) and said thank you for thinking of her.
He also asked if she (the director) had gotten our email
and she said she connections are sporadic but would check
& hopefully confirm to see that we have it right.whew!
All in all a successful mission! Still a long shot from
operation" COME ON OVER HERE & GET HER!!!"
but Im pleased.. if we can establish email contact
I dont have to tell you how cool that would be!!!
Best I can tell, this orphanage seems way better maintained. Clean, neat & the kids look happy.
You all know the rules I cant post pix of orphans
but suffice to say the kids look happy & well taken care of.
A FAR CRY from how Summer's orphanage looked.
It is a very poor coal mining town with dirty streets and half cut trees.It is get this-8 hours PAST where Summer was!
Talk about the ends of the earth!!!
I am now going to compose a letter that he can translate
to the director.I hope she lets us into her world
and in the process get closer to A.
I am not giving up!

ANOTHER BIG FAT HAIRY NO!

2007-10-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

We got the official report back from the searcher who went in person to meet the girls.. apparently the older sister turned 16 and left the orphanage a few months ago. When she was asked if we could adopt her she said no and didnt want A to go either
(who can blame her? with all they hear about America and not knowing what lies on the outside of the orphanage ?)
thats why the judge said no, he didnt want them to be separated.
BUT NOW?
hmmm.. my next plan of attack, is to go make friends with the orphanage director herself
(whom the searcher says was very kind but strict. She even mentioned something about her being remorseful that she didnt push harder to sway the big sister into letting us adopt A.)
interesting... surprising? NO!!

but the powers that be in Russia
do not realize that NO is not in my vocabulary!!

The pictures she sent of A holding presents we sent her were heart wrenching. Her & Summer are absolute replicas of one another!!

OH ! PS. they have internet access!!!!!

HANDS DOWN.... NO WAY!!!! SIGN!

2007-10-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

OK.. "SURREAL VOICEMAIL SIGN" EVEN PALES IN COMPARISION WITH TODAY'S OFFERING....

Long stort short, I'm doing some special gift designer bags for Paula Abdul whom I met when she fell in love with one of my clients purses, while in Atlanta for American Idol business. Ok Ok so today I had to hustle to get her prices and sample pix so I worked for hours putting that together, when I was really pressed for time on OTHER pending deadlines (at least Im staying busy during the wait!) When I was done I figured Hey! I'll go ahead and post the info to the website seeing as the holidays are coming. Ive needed to do that anyway...

I log on to my web site panel and I'm already dreading what I'll need to delete to make room for this new section.
Of course I love all my catagories and pix so it boiled down to
me having to delete the "Our adoption" section...

BOO HOO!
I HATED WITH A PASSION TO DO IT!!

but it was necessary as my site is completely full
and there is no way to add more galleries to my
PASSWORD PROTECTED SITE THAT I DESIGNED MYSELF...

Well I opened the panel and as I go to click delete...
I see in bright RED letters...
" TO CREATE NEW GALLERY CLICK HERE"

um ... HUH?
WHAT THE?????

so I did.... and it proceeded to give me upload options.
I named the new section ... saved the ADOPTION section and I am sitting here in COMPLETE disbelief!!

THERE IS NO WAY THIS COULD BE SO!!
AH! Bigger forces at work here!
ONES THAT DIDNT WANT THE ADOPTION TO BE FORGOTTEN!!
YA THINK???

SURREAL....

2007-10-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

you're never going to believe this......

So there I was, sitting in my cold hotel room in Siberia, in the middle of the night, waiting (with just minutes left on my international cell phone) to hear back from the doctors in the US, who Todd & I decided would have the final say so, on whether or not we agreed to adopt little Sasha (AKA Summer) The Russian docs thought she had a tumor in her eye (among other scary things)

My flite was only hours away and I had not fully given my heart to her.. trying to protect myself...
it was dark ( in an effort not to awaken Mildred)..
then out of NOWHERE the clock radio started playing an AMERICAN SONG...

"I will go down with this ship...
I wont put my hands up, in surrender..

there will be NO WHITE FLAG ABOVE MY DOOR.."

well I just started bawling because throughout out the whole adoption mess (almost two years, I had REFUSED to give up I was GOING to bring her home!!!)
That had always been mine & Gods song for the adoption..

Minutes later, the Dr. called. I hung up called Todd and only managed to get out the words..
WE HAVE A DAUGHTER!!!! then...
my phone went dead.......

ok ok ok so.

Last week I had the daunting task of writing the actual letter that would be hand carried SUNDAY, to Siberia via a search team, to be given to Summer's oldest sister ( providing they can actually FIND HER)
I sat here pouring over pix and wondering how on EARTH I was going to find the words to express our thanks to her for letting us take Summer in the first place, let alone asking if we can come back and take "A" 9 yr) The oldest sister has the power to grant this despite the judge's ruling that he wont separate the girls.

I had been an emotional mess all day...
I glanced over at the phone only to see there had been a voicemail that I had somehow missed.

I almost hung up when there was no voice at first,
only faint music playing....
curious, hmm a song..
it sounds familiar...
as I listen more closely I hear...

I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP,
I WONT RAISE MY HANDS IN SURRENDER......"

THERE WILL BE NO WHITE FLAG
ABOVE MY DOOR.....

it is a SIGN..
a GIFT...

God is still here & it isnt over yet with these sisters!!!!

When the song ends... I hear my neighbor Amanda
saying goodbye to the kids, during morning carpool hours earlier..
not even knowing her accidental recording has made my day!!

WOW ANGELS AMONG US!!!!!!

LETS START FROM BEGINNING!

2007-10-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile and I dont expect anyone to read thru all the posts to get to the current situation so here goes!

We brought home Summer in May '06. We learned in court that she had a total of 4 other sisters. 23,16,13,& 9. Only "A"the youngest was a full bio sibling, (but they all had the same mother) When we first met Summer we asked to meet the one & only sister they told us about. Both trips they said " Forget her, she is too old and lives far far away" (like uh- I had just traveled literally around the world, whats a few more hours on the Trans Siberian railway???) Having NO INFO we went on with our lives.
Months later I heard they had updated the Russian website for orphans. With nothing to go on I surfed and surfed the faces on hundreds of sad faces.Then... I found her. IT WAS HER! OMG NO ONE COULD TELL ME DIFFERENTLY! she looked exactly like Summer! But since I couldnt match any info, I printed out the pix and hung it by my computer. Todd said I was wishful thinking but it couldnt be her.

There is a blog entry about the day I "accidently" going thru the Russian adoption papers to sign Sum up for school and found "A" info! I had it all along!!! It was in English but in the non translated side of papers!
I FLEW to the computer and to the Russian orphan site...in a stunned daze I saw that all the info matched on the little face I knew was Summers sister!
We got an attorney and filed a request to adopt her. Months later (darn this process!!) they wrote back and said we couldnt adopt her because she was with ANOTHER sister in the same orphange! Thinking it was "B" the 13 yr old we resent a new request asking for BOTH girls. Imagine our surpise when the judge said "No, it is not the 13 yr old but yet ANOTHER sister "C" who is 15. We asked for her anyway! But alas the judge wrote back and said they were close to the oldest sister who lived on the outside and visited regularly. They did not want to separate them so NO. We did not know if the older sister "D" knew we were trying to adopt the younger girls, so we decided t do the search to find her & ask if she would consent to us adopting them.According to Russian law if she says yes (she did for Summer) then hopefully we can.

BUT WAIT! THERE"S MORE!!

2007-10-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

An email showed up in my box... "Would you like to take part in a Siberian search? Several families going makes it affordable...."
hmmmmmmm... ok so you got my attention. It was actually from a reputable group, one that I had known about for over a year. I signed up sent the info & money. It all happened so fast!
All I know today is that the search was "successful" with video being mailed back to the US.

When I sat down to write the letter to "D" (Summer's oldest sister 23 and lives on the outside) it was hard as I dont know if the younger girls KNOW they have another sister. Did she know we were trying so hard to adopt them? So many questions! In the end I asked her to share the letter with the girls if she saw fit and that I would respect her wishes as far as further contact.
"C" turned 16 in Sept and for all I know was turned out from the orphanage. The email said they had made contact with ONE sister in the orphanage. Aw geez I cant take the suspense! But I figure if they made it that far "D" must be open!! WHOO HOO!

ITS OVER

2007-06-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

We got the email from the MOE late yesterday.

"THE SECRET OF ADOPTION SHALL EXSIST...

In other words, they have decided that we cant adopt the sisters
(as they have another sister outside the orphanage they are close to )

but they have also closed the door on any contact. Apparently the girls do not know they have a sister and they want to keep it that way.

I do not know what to say...

ROLLER COASTER CONTINUES...

2007-06-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

OK.. I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT THE THOUGHT OF TALKING TO THE GIRLS!!!
After two hrs though we couldnt get through..By this time Ms Summer has wandered in & out & mostly I was just shushing her. (trying to focus on translator.) Unbeknownst to all of us she snuck upstairs.. found some scissors and...
CUT OFF ALL HER HAIR!!!
Of course I didnt see it til the next day. We were horrified!!!It took us almost two years to have any hair, and now we are back at square one.... As upset as I was, I cponcentrated on the fact that she was SAFE. That's all that really matters....

Last nite when it was calm & quiet I asked her
" Why did you cut your hair?"
She said " I wanted to look like a baby & babies dont have hair"
So of course I asked
"Why do you want to look like a baby?"
she said.....

"BECAUSE MOMMIES NEVER EVER LEAVE THEIR BABIES"

sigh that is something I tell her ALL the time!!
Ok so maybe she got freaked when I told her we were going to talk to her sisters...;( all I wanted to do was prepare her, not send her into a tailspin thinking she might be going back to Russia..
KNOW BETTER
DO BETTER..... sigh

So we worte a letter to the orphanage and I had my attorney resend the adoption request. Now we wait I suppose. All calls are off til we hear something more concrete. I really do want to do this with integrity..
The knowing I could call them is killing me tho!!!

ANY MINUTE NOW!

2007-06-12T09:28:00.001-07:00

Ok, so late last night (just after I got done blogging about how I wouldnt rest until we talked to the girls) an email pops into my box! Apparently they have found the orphanage & gotten permission for us to call! All I know is they asked for my phone number so we can make the call. HOPEFULLY TODAY????

I ran to Frua (Russia adoption forum) and posted for anyone to help fast on how to say in Russian:
" I am your sister."

I want Summer to be able to say that to them! We cannot talk adoption yet as the judge hasnt made a decision on whether or not we can adopt both girls. ( they will not seperate them)
wouldnt it be wild if he emailed me right before the call saying YES???

well,in a matter of MINUTES my phone rings. It is Lola a friend off the board who saw my post & JUST HAPPENS to have a Russian Associate in her law firm. So she proceeds to patch me in and instantly I have a translation and phonetic spelling!!
OK PHONE NOW RING!!!!!!!

I have decided to quit thinking there is a choice.
I INTEND TO BRING HOME BOTH GIRLS.
I also need 50K to do it. It's coming. I can hardly wait to see how!!!

TRY TRY AGAIN

2007-06-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

Just got word that the searchers are setting up a new three way call. I sent them more info to find the CORRECT orphange this time!!
They also sent a team that finds birth parents to our remote region, so they will let me know if they can get an address on the big sister. She might be able to shed some light & have facts on all the girls. Does she have a plan for "B" when she ages out & leaves the orphanage in Sept?
So many unanswered questions!!!
In the meantime, the countdown is now at 4 weeks and counting since we sent the request to adopt both girls. By law they have 30 days to respond. Which will come first???
The CALL or the DECISION?????
stay tuned!

MADE THE CALL! But no one was home.

2007-06-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
The searchers placed a call to the orphanage but much to my dismay they had never heard of the girls!! There are many orphanages and somehow I mustve gotten the address wrong during the translation process. Sigh.
They ARE in the system, we know because the judge told us they were together. Now I have asked for help from the search team again. Apparently we will have to ask written permission to even speak to the girls. The MOE (Ministry of Education) will know their exact location. Meanwhile I wait for the judge to decide our fate. Oh. To answer your question.
Where is the 13yr old? We do not know. There are 5 girls total. One is older and has left the orphanage. The others are 15,13, 9 and Summer 4

Can you imagine how cool it would be if I can somehow reunite all the sisters? The amazing power of the internet will make a tremendous impact on these girls lives. Even in the small remote region in Siberia there was an internet place with old old computers and windows 95 but it is a start!

SILENCE

2007-05-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

no word from Russia.... I was watching Dateline last night about a family who adopted twin babies from Russia, then later went back and got their 4 older siblings.. I bawled like a baby!!
On the show, the girls had a ANYA doll. ( she speaks English & Russian) I hadnt noticed but Summer had been wandering around throughout the show. At one point she went upstairs and found HER Anya doll. She came down and sat transfixed watching Dateline.
Made me cry harder!! If she only knew!!!!!....
I want this so much for Summer & her sisters. Perhaps the delay means they are working hard on the request. Our first two letters were answered quickly by email. All I can think about is how "B" is approaching 16 in Sept and will be turned out into the streets. Does she have anywhere to go?Is she scared to to be adopted by us? The judge will allow her to speak her feelings since she is older. But from the bizarre things they hear about Americans, I cant say I would blame her for being scared!
On the search front, we are in the process of placing a three way call to the orphanage to actually talk to the girls. Will we be allowed to talk before the judge makes his decision???
ARRRGGGHH! The suspense is killing me!

GETTING CLOSER!

2007-05-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

I just finished sending all my info to a Russian search team! Hah! If you thought I was going to sit idly by and wait for the judge to do his thing, you are wrong!!!

This group will make the appropriate calls to the orphanage to pave the way for me to actually speak with "A" & "A"!!
Hmmmn from now on I will call them A&B or it will get confusing!

OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!
I have done as much research as I can, so hopefully the contact info I have for the orphanage is correct. Barring problems in that regard
we should be able to talk SOON!

What do you say to a 9 & 15 yr old??? Maybe I should put Summer on the phone, she will talk their ears off!
I want to seriously talk with the girls to see how they feel about America and most importantly, are they in contact with their other sisters?
Im afraid if that is the case we will never adopt them.

But contact is awesome too!
You cannot write this stuff! Within a year I have managed to find 3 of the 5 sisters.
Folks have written asking if I plan to search for the birth parents. The answer (at THIS POINT anyway) is
NO.
The first 3 girls were abandoned and years later so were Summer & her other sister. By all accounts the parents do not wish to be contacted . They dont even have an address based on court papers. Not a good situation. I do not want to delve there, I feel my best efforts will be re-uniting the sisters, as they didnt ask for this.

I believe they ALL deserve better
& I'm going to do all I can to make that happen.

I'm off to wait the instructions on what to do next!
T status: Don't ask, don't tell. Just tell him when to get on the plane!!! ;)
Boys: Curious but apprehensive as the girls are older and they cant boss them around like they can Summer!!!
Rain: Off the charts!!

COME ON UNIVERSE!
BRING IT ON!!!!!!

RUSSIA TALKS BACK..

2007-05-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was sitting in class at Texas A &M University ( I go once a year for a week) and an email popped into my box. I translated it and was stunned to find out that Ms. A has been in the orphanage with another sister since their arrival. The judge thinks its best not to seperate the girls at this time. ;(
We have always known there were 5 girls total, (all having the same mom) but only Summer & A have the same dad. The older three were put in orphanages over 10 yrs ago. Their ages best I can calculate are 19, 15, 13, 9 (A) and Summer 4. I am pleased they have found each other again.Oddly enough, at court we learned that the oldest sister actually had to give her permission to let us adopt.
SHE DID NOT KNOW SUMMER EXSISTED.
How easy it wouldve been for her to just say no!!
Russian law/tradition does not require a family member to actually TAKE the child if they dont want them to be adopted, their word saying no is enough. Not fair, but none the less thats how its done. I commend the sister for letting her go to a good home.
Anyway, I realize that they had indeed found each other and I instantly told Todd and had the attorney draw up a letter stating we would
TAKE THEM BOTH! Heck she's 13 right in between the boys, we can adjust!!

ok that alone brings on many emotions...
but here is where it gets really fun!!!!!

The attorney sends back an email saying (in a nutshell)
uh.... do you KNOW that the sister we are talking about is NOT the 13 yr old??? SILENCE.
She is the one who turns 16 in a few months. (old enough to say whether she WANTS to be adopted, yet too young to fend for herself when she gets turned out of the orphanage and has no where to go . dont even ask about the stats of what happens to these kids... ;(

sigh. so I kinda well.... sorta... ok I said YES WE STILL WANT THEM BOTH.

The irony is that the attorney happened to be going to Russia and hand carried the request to the judge for us.
the date???
MAY 11,2007
EXACTLY one year to the day we adopted Summer!!!!

Hold on to your hats my friends!!!

word from Russia ( but not THE word!)

2007-04-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

I about came unglued today when an email showed up. I fumbled to translate the darn thing and got all happy when I read "we are pleased to inform applicants..."

what it really meant was
"Dont call us we'll call you!"
Kidding! But it does confirm they got our official request to adopt A.
They again now have 30 days to make a definite decision.

In the meantime, all American agencies have lost their accreditation to adopt in Russia.
BOO!
Some regions (like our 50 states) continue to process what they call independent adoptions ( this is what we are hoping to do.) but for the most part everything has come to a screaching halt.

Ah! But the sign of the day???
LOOK AT WHERE THESE DOCUMENTS HAD TO GO TO GET TO SIBERIA!!

Two stops in the US
Korea
Germany
Belgium
Moscow
Western Far East Russian Federation

I gave them all the info (along with pix) of where to even find the child!!
Make it easy for them I say!

whoo hoo things happening!

2007-04-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

- I dug out our INS approval ( takes months to get ) we are still approved for another child (our agency always puts down 2 even though we only asked for one!!) Our INS fingerprints are also still good thru JULY 2007! Remember the Federal bld debacle??

THE PLANETS START TO ALIGN

2007-04-15T05:46:00.000-07:00

-I contact legal counsel and we have written a
LETTER OF INTENT TO ADOPT A SIBLING.
Russia has 30 days to respond. Of course this isnt cheap and to express the hard copies of all documents costs even more... not like Fed Ex goes to Siberia!! (but I cant wait 2 MONTHS to even get them there!!) I pause a mili sec and money becomes a non issue. ( At least to ME!)
Just HOW we will pay for this does not concern me. We pulled it off the first time didnt we??? ( it's sickening but the orphanage doesnt get a penny, its all the agencies.) 35K AND we flew free!!

-The same weekend we found A we were also condsidering writing a contract on our DREAM DREAM home ( we are in our dream home but now that we have three kids its laid out all wrong. Besides if you know me, why would I need two kitchens? ;)
T built this house and to find one we BOTH absolutely loved has not been easy, but after months of looking we found it.
- My printer had run out of ink a few days prior. Fixing it to print out the contract we were about to write,
it decided to spit out another file.
Reaching over, it wasnt the big beautiful house at all..

It was little "A"s face.

moments later the image of the house slides out.
Putting them side by side I realize that it isnt the fancy house I really want.
IT'S A.

YOU WANT SIGNS??? I"LL GIVE YOU SIGNS!!!!

2007-04-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

I've always been one to lead with my heart, trust my gut.. ignore obstacles..
SPIDER SENSES Todd jokingly calls it...
but even this time I cannot believe all the signs that have led up to now.

SIT BACK. OPEN YOUR MIND AND TELL ME IF WE AREN'T HEADED FOR GREAT THINGS!!!

-Found A on Russian website
-Went to get into Summer's court files to register her for Pre-K in the fall. ( who KNEW you were supposed to do this in MARCH???)In my haste I scattered everything out on the floor. My eye caught a paper from the Russian stack.Puzzled I started to read it, it was in English but I had not seen it before.
- TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS. No not Summer's...
but little Miss "A". Full name-date of birth - parents names EVERYTHING.
Absolutely FLYING to the computer I went to the Russia site & frantically searched for that face again. Holding my breath, translated the info...
A.S. YES! NAME MATCES!!!!
DOB HALLOWEEN!! YES!

I started crying as I looked at the face that could be my sweet Summer's. It was her. The only full blooded sister she has. ( there are 4 more but they are older and have different fathers)

Shaking I ran to tell T.

"Yes, Rain... but what does it change???"
I couldve slapped him! ( OF COURSE WE HAVE TO GO GET HER!) but knowing how he is slow to change I just gave him a look and walked out of the room...

HERE WE GO AGAIN?????

2007-04-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Back up about three months ago....
I couldnt sleep ( so what else is new?? ) so I was randomly searching the Russian data base website. This is where they list the children available for adoption or at least that are in orphanages. The site had been down for "upgrading" so I thought I'd look & see if Summer's pix was still listed... It wasnt. So then I thought I'd be cute and punch in her sister's date of birth. We knew nothing except she was born in 1997. The site is in Russian but I could navigate it enough to search the year and sex of child. Scrolling through the many many sad faces I suddenly came across a little girl who could be Summer's twin!!! STUNNED to the core, ( I had searched previously yet had never seen this face) printing it out, I ran to show Todd and a few of my closest friends. He looked at me like I was nuts and said "Out of 1000's of kids what are the chances of it being her? Afterall we have no other info." In my heart I KNEW that I KNEW that I KNEW it was her.

yet he was right, it may well be just wishful thinking...with no proof..
quietly I threw away the picture and went on with my life....

The rest of the story

2006-12-18T02:20:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon this blog the other day. I had all but forgotten it. So much has happened and only now do I feel like I can finish the story... We got our Ms. Summer home, but not without the adventure of my life. (and Hon, Ive had LOTS of adventures!!) There is more happening. read on!

Someone talk me off the ledge...

2006-04-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

I WAS PATIENT

I was patient when the adoption packet came in the mail...OCT 2004

I was patient when we announced at Thanksgiving,
we were going to Russia.
I was patient as I fended off dumb questions from relatives, and after seeing the time lines of several friends, I decided I could be more patient and wait the 4 months
it would take get bring her home..
(pause as you all regroup, yes that WAS the time back then!)

I was patient when the new laws went into effect, placing all the children
another 6 months on the data base.

I suffered and had my heart torn out,
after losing a little host girl, who I just KNEW was perfect for our family..

That night, I sat in my bathtub, in the dark,
and cried & cried.
I swore I would NEVER open my heart up again.

I was wandering around, in a state of numbness, and checked the studios voicemail for messages.

"Hello, we saw your portraits in our doctor's office and wanted to tell you our story...
Our baby was born with many problems and needs brain surgery. We do not know if she will live, and wanted to ask if you would do her portraits. We cannot pay you much, but do not want charity, but we love your work and would be honored if you would help us.."

I looked up at heaven, and said
THANK YOU JESUS
for giving me this opportunity
to bless someone else...

then I cried & cried because I really DID want to be open to others, and I knew God had begun to heal my heart.
Deep down I secretly dreamed for a little girl..

I was patient as videos were fazed out..

I was patient when they explained that,
we now had to travel blind, no pictures, no medicals (and a whole lot of faith)

I picked up my fainted husband and told him
It's ok we can still do this!!
Slowly the color came back to his face,
and I knew we were still in the game.

I tried to be happy & supportive to others along the way.
I sent presents, and made avatars with pretty images of the sweet faces, that were already home...
I took joy in meeting folks off this forum ( especially Sands & Lo-La -La!!!)
and delighted in taking their pictures in my studio. Ü

I never vented over the ridiculous delays and lack of communication.....
( ok, so I kicked the dog a few times)

(KIDDING!!!!)

I never whined (not in public anyway!)

I didnt drink....
or overeat....
or lay on my couch & eat bon bons, feeling sorry for myself..

NOOOO!!! Instead, I went to work and fawned over the new babies and made kids smile and dreamed of the day I would bring Summer home.

I was patient as we finally got our first travel dates....(one year after signing up)

I was patient, when as a family, we decide it was best if my husband stayed behind.

When the time finally came meet my child,
I was patient, as I looked over her face, soaking in every detail...
her laugh, her eyes, the way she clung to, and nurtured the baby doll I had brought her.

(She still sits patiently, right here on my desk, ready to go back to Russia on a moments notice.)

I was patient, as we said our final goodbyes.
I took care not to squeeze her,
as tight as I wanted to...
They led her away, smiling and waving.
Baka! Baka! (bye)
she whispered...

I came home and just couldn't get jolly
for the holidays, so we had a family meeting and decided to donate all of our Christmas money & buy presents for that very family,
God had put in our path a few months before...
We instead, had pizza & baked cookies, and hung ornaments (made with pix of Summer) all over our tree.
On Christmas morning, we (very patiently)
snuggled,and basked in our good deed, and decided it was the best Christmas ever.

I caught my breath, but was patient,
when they said
expect 3-5 months for a court date.

On her birthday, I went into her room..
sat on her bed, and bawled like there was no tomorrow....
I put the present & the pix of her cake,
on the shelf and closed the door behind me....

I was patient as I re-did the medicals and home study & who knows WHAT document at that point...

When they said the judge was going on
a month long vacation,
I was patient even then..

I busied myself with
living the life, I would
want for my daughter.

I made plans with friends, and shot on location, and went to out of state conventions. I took painting classes and walks with my boys..

and now I sit, on the eve of the judge returning.....
I do not know what to do
with myself..

I mentally know the number of days (45)until accreditation may or may not
be renewed....

Please...please....please!!!!!
Mr Judge..
give me a date...
a time....
an end to this wait,
to bring my little girl home..!!!!!

I simply
cannot
be patient
one MORE MINUTE!!!

Is it politically incorrect
to start my own ring chant????

something better happen soon...
I have a list of demands...
I'm a woman on the edge.
I have my day planner ready...
& Im not afraid
to use it!!!!!

2006-02-07T04:57:00.000-08:00

Russian Adoption Barbie-Nationality:Also comes in, Guatamalan, Chinese, Korean & newly popular- Ethiopian. (rare collectible-Romanian)Hair color- available in Blonde, Brunette & Redhead. (Warning: Hair is known to turn gray overnite when faced with ever changing adoption laws.NOTE: NOTARY MIDGE SOLD SEPARATELY
Accessories: -Comes with oversized money belt, to be worn under garments (pink only)-Passport sewn onto actual body to eliminate any mishaps while traveling.
-Two pairs of silk long johns (easily hand washed in hotel sink)-three small bottles of sparkling water. (use for brushing teeth, at meals, & refreshment from frazzling MOE visits)-Pink leather briefcase (new slime line design weighs under 2 lbs!) to haul appropriate paperwork.-Diamond studded laptop/DVD player. For emailing pix to IA docs, keeping the forum informed & watching newly released chick flicks (that Ken hates).
-15-20 small assorted GIFTS to show appreciation to the various Drivers, Translators, & Ophanage Directors.(Don't worry she bought enough of the nifty presents to keep some for herself!)- A pink miniature MP 3 player for listening to tunes while en-route. Favorites include: BEACH BOYS, EAGLES, (she's 40+ for goodness sakes!) and MADONNA.(for PMS days, hits include theme from "Flashdance" & best of Celine Dion) Also included, (but seldom used) are books on tape. "THE RULES" a dating guide for today's woman. The Hollywood Diet" in case she over eats out of stress.
-Plenty of smaller bills for tips to the hotel staff for lugging her matching fur trimmed luggage. (she does NOT travel light!) WHAT LIMIT???-Several mini bottles of assorted Rum, Vodka & a light Chardonnay. (all those years as Flight Attendent BArbie came in handy!)-Her custom made pink YOGA MAT (to help ease the stress of having to wait)- Easy Erase DATEBOOK-for planning & canceling & planning & canceling various important events in her life)-A vast supply of Melatonin, CIPRO to keep perky. ( THANKS NURSE BARBIE!)
dizzying array of shoes & boots (this one is for YOU JIMinPA! -a custom ordered map off the internet ( www.MUSTSHOP.com) to all the trendy shopping areas in Moscow. ( now available in 14 additional regions) - plenty of " Powder Puff" soft brand tissues, for the many disappointments & heart brreaks along the way.- One rather plain (she'll get over it) international rental cell phone. Comes pre- programmed for Ken, Skipper, GI-Joe ( hey! gotta keep her options open! ) the nearest nail solon & pizza take out place & of course her agency.
Additional accessories sold separately--Dr Ken who will accompany her to the region for the child's physical-Best Friend Midge who wants to travel with Barbie but cant get the time off.-Her doggie Precious, who isn't allowed on international flights.Made of sturdy USA plastic. Does not melt down easily. Please DO NOT keep away from kids!!!

2006-02-07T04:40:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: All along, my biggest fear about the whole trip, was not the going without my DH or meeting a child blind, it was the actual flite to Siberia itself. I had read about the rickety old, loud planes, where parts fall off, and everyone smokes like a chimney. You would see livestock, they said, (there WAS a dog!) and the freezing cold made it hazardous. That being said,you can only imagine my mental state as the hour drew near. I traveled with a big burly ex-marine, who I will call "R" & his wife. As we headed towards the gate, he seemed pale and agitated.He said "Im with you on this one Rain. I do NOT like the thought of flying over Siberia!" So he & I ducked into a little bathroom and did a stiff shot of 151. (Not apologizing here, I was a nervous wreck!) It was like something out of a war movie! we wished each other the best of luck and ran to meet the plane.

It was all so surreal..strange language, & unfamiliar people.. never smiling.I scour their faces for encouragement, for support.. for humanity. there is none to be found.I am on this journey alone.time blurs.. we get on a crude bus type vehicle, that heads out toward the stark tarmac. There are no gates , no covered tunnels that allow easy boarding. we are deposited on the cold, snow covered runway. Suddenly I am aware that I am completely out of my element. Having traveled all over the world I am surprised at the anxiety I feel. It is twilight,that time when the day, and all it held,is slowly disappearing, to be replaced by the unknown events of the night.The light is different colors ("sweet light", we photographers call it) casting a eerie, yet comforting glow to our surroundings..the snow is falling.. soft, gentle, yet unyielding flakes. I look out into nothing but cold, dreary, flatness. I am afraid.Not devoid of peace, mind you, just a overwhelming sense of "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING???????" I am going to fly on a small (not very mechanically sound?) plane,over freezing, giant mountains, in the dark.. ( like they'd EVER find us, if we went down...)to SIBERIA. HELLO!!?tears are streaming down my face at this point, unchecked.. I think of my two little boys at home, my husband (ok, & the cats) and wonder if this is what staring death in the face, is like.I can hear it now..from the kids "Why did mommy leave us, to do something so dangerous when she didn't HAVE to?" Wasn't she happy with just us? did she HAVE to find a daughter?from my husband "Crazy nut, you never know what she'll do next! hope she's ok!" from the church- "poor thing... so young" (so pretty! HAH!)so much to live for.. what a shame.."I snap back to reality (from my Walter Mitty moment!) my brain is screaming" YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS!"The little devil & angel on my shoulders, who have been expressing their opinions loudly, have long since frozen, so soon I am alone, not comprehending just why I am so emotional.My translator had to go back to the ticket counter twice, involving my ticket. ( it had some weird symbol on it?) "R" can read enough Russian to get us to the proper alphabet row, where I am separated from them & my MIL, and seated next to a stern Russian gentleman & his equally somber wife. As folks are quietly boarding, an officer of some sort, stands over me and a small dispute ensues. The BEAUTIFUL ( I cannot say enough on how gorgeous the woman are) flite attendant, points to the back of the plane, and the officer (who WASNT a gentleman!) grumbles and starts grabbing his things out of the overhead bin. The stern man next to me, leans over & in broken English ( which he is VERY proud of!) says I am in the wrong seat! He tells the flite attendant," She is an American, just leave her be!" I am beyond grateful at this point. He asks me why I am so upset and I take a breath & try to explain.I grew up in Hawaii..The island? he says with recognition, it is warm!"Yes ! I tell him. I have only seen snow a few times, and am scared to fly in it! (Ok, for those of you who think I'm a total weenie, it was way below zero and there was ice on the wings!!! where is it I read airplane fuel has been known to freeze up?)Why are you going to remote Blagoveshchensk? (It is KILLING him to ask me, I can tell.) I hesitate, as that question stirs up some heavy controversy! I dig out my phrase book and begin to tell him about adopting a little girl.He leans over to his wife, (who has all but dismissed me) and in an excited voice, chatters for awhile.She now looks me in the eye, and smiles approvingly. I dig out the little book I have made for Summer. with pictures of her new brothers, the house, her princess room, the pool, Daddy...I had left in such a flurry,I didn't have time to translate it. I asked him if he would mind helping me. He took out a pen and wrote carefully on each page. When he saw one of our family pix, he said"Oh, your husband, he is a GOOD man!".I laughed & said yeah? well he has his moments! after a few pages more, he put down the book, looked at mewith solemn eyes and wondered aloud. Your husband? He take care of another man's child?I couldn't decide if there was more disbelief or admiration in his voice. Silently, he looked over the rest of the book,oohing & aahing over our house, showing his wife the "INTERIOR" as he called it.Then he turned back in my direction, this time it was HIM, who had the tears,literally streaming down his once stern face.Full of emotion he said " Thank You. thank you for taking one of our children to live in a house, such as this! To have a chance at life."As I settled back, (comforted) in my seat,for what was a very long (but suddenly not so scary) 9 hr flite, I couldn't help but musing..

That not smiling on the outside...
is absolutely no indication,
of the heart on the inside...

whhhhoooooo HOOO!

2005-11-14T12:41:00.000-08:00

WE ARE LEAVING IN 4 DAYS TO GO TO SIBERIA!
I HAVENT EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO WRITE THE GOOD NEWS HERE. IT IS THE BIGGEST WEEK OF MY ENTIRE YEAR, BUT IM GONE!!
by this time next week, our little Summer will have a FACE!

I will send out an email before I leave!

trip postponed

2005-10-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

Ok so they have post-poned my trip....Cant say it didnt bother me, however somewhere in the back of my mind, I had mentally prepared myself...Something about the inspector not being back yet. Apparently, she will be returning but only for a brief time. Then she's off to training, no specified place or time you understand. All I know now is that my agency is trying to slide ,e in while she is there. If that doesnt work, then it will be after Nov. 7. This being ( of course, since my middle name is MURPHY) the absolute busiest time of my entire year.

*SIGH*

not mad
or sad

JUST SIGH.

There is now more rumors that they will disallow umbrella-ed agencies. This would leave us going no where fast. End- caput.

Todd & I have talked. If it doesnt work out, we are walking away, heads held high
(albeit hearts dragging) we have chosen not to try & persue this via another country.
It is now or never.

WHY I AM DOING THIS

2005-09-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

My heart was tore out after watching this ...

if anyone ever doubted what my family is doing..... click on this link

The Children of Leningradsky - Hanna Polak and Active Child Aid

Airs WED SEPT 28 on Cinemax at 7:30

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS

2005-09-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

OK Im officially done being
CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC!!!
Im now decidedly celebrating in true Rainy fashion!
The mad shopping has reached epic proportions! I have added a furry lime green pillow,
that lights up in 6 (bright but slighly eerie) colors,
to keep her company at night ( or scare her silly).
Every Disney movie known to man, lines her shelves.
These are also home to Barbie's from all walks of life.
There is Russian Barbie ( a cherished gift) Princess Barbie (havent been able to locate her counterpart Pauper Barbie) and of course Photographer Barbie ( INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, she comes in a wheel chair!)

WHAT"S UP WITH THAT??????
like my job is so easy, I could make a un-co-operative baby
chuckle from my perch in a wheel chair?
It could be that since women are still very much the minority
in the photography field, they were trying
to be politically correct & save money
by making her a dual Handicapped Barbie
to kill two birds with one stone???
Can you see me trying to explain all THAT in broken Russian?
"Yes, your mama takes pictures like Barbie..
Wait! dont cry honey! I can still walk!!!!
Maybe I should just give her "Kitchin Bitchin Barbie"?
no, that might suggest that cooking is a good thing ;)
When I was a kid, I had ONE Barbie,
sure she scattered tiny plastic shoes all over the house,
but it was so simple. Hmmn there was one issue
when I made her break up with KEN because
I had a thing for G.I. JOE.
Now even that isn't easy. Have you met the new.
"HI! Im Ken, I'm a FABULOUS iceskater
wanna see me twirl"???
sigh....maybe she will prefer to read instead!!

I have taken off the hot pink tee shirt sheets from her little bed,
& replaced them with new cheery yellow flannel sheets...
which reminds me, did I mention I shall be flying
on an old - foreign plane-( in much need of FAA regulations)
heading into SIBERIA in the middle of winter??????
To Todd, this is reason to entertain the fact
that he could wear a fur lined hat like ARNOLD,
in that submarine movie..
to ME it screams..
"WHAT AM I THINKING????"
Does Benedryl work on adults?
Where are those qualudes
from the 70's when you need them??? <----KID-DING!
Better add " Fear of Flying" to my reading list!
I have been studying the acronyms faithfully,
in an attempt to be prepared for any emotional/ physical problems..
FAS
FAD
RAD
AHAD
ADD
TGIF
BYOB
ugh....
at any rate. I amfinally ready to go ahead
& help plan the wonderful shower
my dear friend Carolyn is planning at the local country club.
What is that Sponge Bob & Patrick always say?
" The higher the pinkie, the fancier you are!" Guess I need to brush up on my manners! How ever do I warrant such great friends?

OK its 47 days & counting til our elusive little Summer has a face!
Keep sending those happy thoughts & emails!

BIG HUGS & GODSPEED go out to our friend WOODCHUCK,
as she flies to Russia this weekend to meet her children!

FINALLY SOME DATES!

2005-08-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

Ok..I AM BEING VERY SUBDUED ABOUT THIS, SINCE EVERYTHING
IS ALWAYS SUBJECT TO CHANGE....

WE ARE GOING TO #### on Oct18-24
seems like a long way off, but I suppose it will go by fast!

Like cold water to a weary soul
is good news from a distant land.
Proverbs 25:25

BIG MEETING

2005-08-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

ok this will be fast & furious as I cant sit still ( worse than usual! )
they have registered all our paperwork in Russia. Today, they are having a big meeting to finally officially decide if we can go to ######. our criteria is a little girl from 1-5 yrs old. If they can find available kids, we are set to travel blind to meet them (no info up front) if there are no kids fitting that criteria then we, for all intents & purposes are going nowhere fast. If this does not work out, we will probably have to switch agencies or quietly walk away. Im not sure IF we would have the heart to go to another country after all we've been thru... Russia is undergoing too many changes & a threat of even more slow downs.... so my friends...

PRAY HARD
CROSS YOUR FINGERS
RUB BUDDAH"S BELLY
WISH US LUCK

CARRY A RABBIT"S FOOT
( AH HECK, MAKE IT TWO)

cant stand to think the future of our child, comes down to a few people who really could care less about these poor orphans.. God is in control!!!

Bob? if you are out there... tell me the part again where
" It will make for a better story in the end??"
coz honey, this will be a doozy!

Summer? if you are indeed even out there.....hang on......

NEW DEVELOPMENTS

2005-07-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

OK its not official ( and may NEVER BE!) but it looks now that our agency is trying hard to get us an appt to travel BLIND to ####. (suffice to say its way way far far away in Russia!) planes, trains & automobiles & maybe a donkey or two thrown in! Do they even HAVE donkeys in Russia????
Blind means they line up a few children in our criteria to meet. We have no pix & no medicals beforehand. YIKES! However, once at the actual orphange, they will show us the child's files & we will be given a chance to have a doctor check her out. Its crazy because theoretically the MOE ( ministry of education) allows you to meet only one child at a time. Once you turn them down they try to find another child for you to meet. Sometimes, several children are brought in at once. WoW! talk about adventure! Judges take long vacations in AUG, so they are trying to get us travel dates by the middle of Aug.

That my friends, is TWO WEEKS AWAY!!!!!! Wouldnt that be something? we wait & wait & wait then its HURRY UP THERES SO MUCH TO DO!!!

I will be traveling alone or possibly with a girlfriend ( can you say true friendship????) Todd cant get away & has to to go back on TRIP 2 when we actually go to court to finalize the adoption & bring her home. He trusts me to pick her out ( no pressure ) and I have confidence that I will KNOW HER when I see her. Ok thats it for now,
PLEASE STAND BY!!!

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES!

2005-07-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

whoever said that sure knew what they were talking about!

After finding out the host kids had to go back to Russia & would not be an option for us, I was pretty dissappointed. But the next day I actually woke up in a fairly good mood. I decided that the craziness of the whole past week was enough
to make
me still believe
There was a pony still hidden
SOMEWHERE in this BIG BARN called adoption.

I was actually quite pleased that I had the day off, (despite the fact that I had to cancel all my appts for the week) no one knew I was still here & the kids were trying their best to make me feel better.

"Dont worry mommy, didnt you tell me there is like 750,000 orphans?
Im sure we can find another one!" (thanks son)

" we werent ready coz we cant speak Russian yet" said the other son.
good point.

(they proceeded to break into a ridiculous ballet....
dancing around on their toes... singing

"Im a ballerina" & " I Love You" (in Russian)

They learned to say THAT from Annya, the Russian/English speaking doll.
She sits patiently, (up in Summer's empty room)
wishing as hard as her little stuffed heart can,
for a new little girl to call her own.

Ok gang , everbody back in the pool......
here we go again.....

CRUSHED

2005-07-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

So, its almost 11 pm I wander by the computer on one of my 200 trips back & forth packing & decided to check email...

"Rain, Do not get on the plane, we have last minute developments and will not have more info until tomorrow. We will be in touch." sent about 10PM.

stunned & hurt, I could only point at the screen, todd read it, gave me a kiss & said
"lets get some sleep......"
not wanting to upset the kids
I disappeared into my bathroom, my haven,
ran a hot bath
sat in the dark
& cried...

MELT DOWN at TARGET

2005-07-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

wow! I had to shoot a large-out-of-town client all day Sunday, so suddenly I had only a matter of hours to get ready! I grabbed from the pile of un-opened, expensive, intimidating CD's on my desk...

"Discussing Politics with Putin" discs 1-2000 nope

"Conversational Russian for the World Traveler" uh- I think not..

" Where are the Clubs? I need Vodka"
Russia for Spring Breakers. fun, but no

"Russian for Dummies" AH! got it!!

next: PRESENTS!
trucking down the road, repeating " Im hungry" in mutilated Russian ( add the fact that I grew up in Hawaii & live in Georgia, talk about FUNKY ACCENT!)
I almost get side swiped by a car (apparently not understanding
Im in "mission mode HEL-LO!" )
I holler something akin to "QUIT THAT" in what I thought was pretty darn good Russian!! ;)

OK, Im in Target. normally I can come out with 45 things I wasnt looking for, but NO-ooo... today I drove like a crazy woman up & down, scanning the aisles not finding the perfect

Hi. Here... please like me, I want YOU gift.

Cool how about CLOTHES? ya! That would be fun.. nope they will take them away next week & let everyone wear them ( including the boys) as if undernourished, resource deprived, helpless orphans arent enough of a visual. Let alone a skinny boy draped in a hot pink Hello Kitty tee shirt....and matching capris.

DOLLS ? perfect!! I loved dolls as a kid! But um these girls are as old as 8, maybe they wouldnt still like dolls? (we had originally agreed to adopt a 2-4 yr old, this older girl thing was all new to me) I grabbed three of everything in the event we got to meet all of the cute faces they had sent pix of.

"BABY, ROCK-A-BYE" uh.. maybe not, seeing as how the kids are known to rock themselves to sleep or when upset. I have patience for the kids, but the doll will have to pay for her own therapy...

"BABY EATS ALOT"....cute, love that she comes with her own fake snacks & juice... but NO! the kids tend to be starved & hoard food for themselves.. what if they ingest her plastic goldfish and need unavailble medical attention???

"BABY CHANGE ME" (comes with diapers,wipes, & god forbid a gooey fake poopy substance...)
again NO. babies there dont even wear diapers, & from what I heard the strict harsh bathroom rituals are enough to make a grown man lapse into a fetal position.

ok ok ok! think here...... PENS!
with glitter & furry things growing out of their tops. but WAIT!
they dont go to school... who would they write to? ( perhaps their congressman, who could help write laws that would actually make it easy for families to adopt them.?

the panic that had begun to set in, now took over. I couldnt breathe & thought Id lose it right there in the shampoo/hair accessories aisle. I thought, maybe cute little ponytail holders, scrunchies or headbands? but they crop the girls hair right to their head. Can you say lice? no shampoo?
no hair= dumb gift idea.

I found solace in the deserted patio clearance aisle, amidst the broken pots & picked over supposed-to-be-cute- ceramic frogs.. (which I swear were looking at me with maniacal sneers)..."youll never find a good gift, they will take one look at you & be screaming for the "detsky dom" (orphange)

realizing, that knowing retail, they probably had all available survelience cameras turned on the lunatic woman, who was muttering to herself, while wiping away tears & butting her head against the metal BBQ grills... I straightened up took a deep breath & prayed my running mascara didnt make me look as crazed as I felt.

I settled for mini magna doodles (that they could use in the future to draw pix of the pain & suffering they felt at the thought of this strange lady possibly adopting them..)

And I did over-compensate on the candy.. sue me, and some stickers & little purses
& markers they could play with on the 11 hr plane ride. The flite attendents will be calling me names, as I didnt have the presence of mind to search for the washable kind. Serious array of writing utensils...Smells like Cherry markers,,, Glitter markers,
Invisable Ink markers, Glow in the dark Markers.....if i was truly going to lose my mind, let it at least be from the luxury of being a noble cause..

Back home; sitter for kids- neighbor feed the dog & 3 cats- Studio closed & staff briefed. Hotel booked, tickets planned,laundry going- photos put in little book so if we commit she will have pix of us to take with her, until we bring her home for good.
Quick chat with friendly research internet woman- & I realize her name needs to be finalized on the petion to adopt paperwork. OMG! we were going to adopt a younger child & change her name to Summer Cosette (more on that choice later) if she is 5 or 7 or 8 what if she wants to keep
OLGA?
SVELTLANA?
LUDMILA?
grab tablet start scribbling my fav names, current name & new last name to see howd they sound... (havent done that, or visited that anguished memory, of 3rd grade when I just KNEW Id marry my classmate Don Ware and have to be Mrs Underware ( again i was 9)

quick check with the host mom at 10 pm for directions from airport.
STATE OF MIND: EXHILERATED in the dawning realization that if this little 5 yr old girl doesnt have 3 heads & spits on me I will adopt her instantly!

PLANNING THE TRIP

2005-07-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

After finding out about these available kids, I jumped online to research the new agency. A funny, open, friendly, (talked even faster than ME!!!) lady called from halfway across America, to share what she knew...
we talked for hours!
(police report citizens as far away as Calif. feeling dizzy)

turns out (THIS JUST IN.....) she happened to know a case worker from the new agency, so she called her at 10:30 at nite to get an inside scoop. Suffice to say all my fears were calmed & we were ready to fly out (MON we decided) and hopefully commit to a child.

Range of emotional states for average people

1-10

Rains Range 1-50

(have you ever tried to adopt from a foreign country???)

state of mind at this point
" over the moon"

SHARP TURN IN THE ROAD..

2005-07-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

Ive always taken pride in the fact that I like adventure. IM always looking to challenge myself & be open to new things.. To see the signs..
Trust my gut.
Todd on the other hand is quiet, conservative, methodical & slow to act.
Our family joke goes something like this.

Todd: Born in the box. Grew up in the box.
Chained to the bottom of the box!
I Y MY BOX!

Rain:Box? Whats a BOX?? If there's one involved,
I'm not going!!! x boxes!!!!

That being said.... A friend I met online has a blog (the inspiration of this one!) He mentioned there were still some kids available for adoption through a hosting program in @@@@@ multi-state area. (Several states away) Being curious, I called the number.. Suddenly in my mailbox were the sweetest pix of several children. Curiously, in the @@ area there were THREE little girls! After talking to the New Agency, I was hooked up with actual phone numbers to the host families...
After calling all three & having to leave messages I was beside myself!

" Uh Hi my name is Rain and uh Im in GA and uh if you don't want the girl I'll take her???
No..
Hi I'm Rain, can I come meet your child since
obviously you're not going to
adopt her?
Sure! I'll fly all the way from Atlanta
on the bizarre chance
that the child
sitting across from you, is really
meant to be MY
daughter!?????
GEEEEEZZ!"

The little girl that really intrigued me was "Peanut 3" , The adoption gods were on my side & the host family called back fairly soon after my incoherent message!

Oddly as I write this hours later, the other two have not!

Suffice to say... As it looks now,

Rain will be on a plane to ** this Sat. Morning!

I will have to change agencies = more $$$ ;(

No time to think......No promises when I get there....

Am I setting myself up for more pain & heartache?

SURVEY SAYS??????

Stay tuned for Monday's edition!!!

THE GOLDEN PRIZE OF ADOPTION

2005-07-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

After holing up for awhile contemplating our
lost referral, I was tired of putting our lives on hold.(can anyone relate?) So a mere two days after the hurricane, we packed up the family (& some extra kids to boot) & headed for the beach! On the way out of town I checked the mail ..Low & behold, there was our INS approval. Can you say 5 MONTHS LATER???? <---- especially funny when said like the narrator off of Sponge Bob! Now normally this would be fodder for a big celebration, but on this particular day, I merely smiled & shoved it (albeit safely!) into the glove box.Amazing! All you need to do is throw your hands up in frustration & swear to never think about Russia again.Apparently this makes the adoption gods look down in favor ....
WHO KNEW??? may we all hear more good news (especially when we are too weary to expect it.)here is a pix of the kids feeding birds..THIS is where my heart shall be focused.. at least for THIS WEEK

"S" IS FOR SUMMER

2005-07-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, Ive been trying so hard to keep myself busy & focused & not obsessed about the wait.. Today, when I went & got my nails done, the little Vietnamese lady, Ive been going to for years, says " NO news YET??"
I do for YOU!!! I do special for YOU!! I started laughing at her enthusiasm! She wouldnt let me see what she was so busy creating.. but when she was all done, she called the girls around, talking excitedly in Vietnamese! They all started clapping their hands & smiling. When I looked down... she had spelled out (in diamonds) a little "S' on each big toe. This is for your new daughter Summer! This will bring you luck! They were all so sweet... Anyway, it SEEMS like everyone I Know (except me) got a referral this week!!!!So to those of us waiting! Maybe my diamond studded "S"'s will indeed bring us good news!

LET THE PAPERWORK BEGIN!

2004-08-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

Aug 27 2004
our packet from ###### agency arrives in the mail..... Now if I can only convince my husband!! ;)

"Sure honey, it will be great!
Youll love Russia! Uh yes I do know thats halfway around the world!
We love to travel, remember?
What? Oh that!! Well lets just call it the price of a SUV!!
ok sure, we can talk about this later...." ;(

TIMELINE

2004-08-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

8-27-04 RECVD AGENCY PACKET IN MAIL
11-23-04 ANNOUNCED OUR NEWS TO FAMILY K
4-27-05 DOSSIER OFFICIALLY SENT TO RUSSIA!
WAITING FOR A REFERRAL!
5-27-05 ABSOLUTE SILENCE
7-18-05 POSITIVELY TIRED OF WAITING,will it ever happen?
7-21-05 POSSIBLE CHANCE TO MEET RUSSIAN HOST KIDS
7-26-05 HOPES DASHED YET AGAIN
11-18-2005 TRIP ONE!!!
5-11-06 BRING THAT BABY HOME!
4-07 FOUND HER SISTER!