MELT DOWN at TARGET
wow! I had to shoot a large-out-of-town client all day Sunday, so suddenly I had only a matter of hours to get ready! I grabbed from the pile of un-opened, expensive, intimidating CD's on my desk...
"Discussing Politics with Putin" discs 1-2000 nope
"Conversational Russian for the World Traveler" uh- I think not..
" Where are the Clubs? I need Vodka"
Russia for Spring Breakers. fun, but no
"Russian for Dummies" AH! got it!!
next: PRESENTS!
trucking down the road, repeating " Im hungry" in mutilated Russian ( add the fact that I grew up in Hawaii & live in Georgia, talk about FUNKY ACCENT!)
I almost get side swiped by a car (apparently not understanding
Im in "mission mode HEL-LO!" )
I holler something akin to "QUIT THAT" in what I thought was pretty darn good Russian!! ;)
OK, Im in Target. normally I can come out with 45 things I wasnt looking for, but NO-ooo... today I drove like a crazy woman up & down, scanning the aisles not finding the perfect
Hi. Here... please like me, I want YOU gift.
Cool how about CLOTHES? ya! That would be fun.. nope they will take them away next week & let everyone wear them ( including the boys) as if undernourished, resource deprived, helpless orphans arent enough of a visual. Let alone a skinny boy draped in a hot pink Hello Kitty tee shirt....and matching capris.
DOLLS ? perfect!! I loved dolls as a kid! But um these girls are as old as 8, maybe they wouldnt still like dolls? (we had originally agreed to adopt a 2-4 yr old, this older girl thing was all new to me) I grabbed three of everything in the event we got to meet all of the cute faces they had sent pix of.
"BABY, ROCK-A-BYE" uh.. maybe not, seeing as how the kids are known to rock themselves to sleep or when upset. I have patience for the kids, but the doll will have to pay for her own therapy...
"BABY EATS ALOT"....cute, love that she comes with her own fake snacks & juice... but NO! the kids tend to be starved & hoard food for themselves.. what if they ingest her plastic goldfish and need unavailble medical attention???
"BABY CHANGE ME" (comes with diapers,wipes, & god forbid a gooey fake poopy substance...)
again NO. babies there dont even wear diapers, & from what I heard the strict harsh bathroom rituals are enough to make a grown man lapse into a fetal position.
ok ok ok! think here...... PENS!
with glitter & furry things growing out of their tops. but WAIT!
they dont go to school... who would they write to? ( perhaps their congressman, who could help write laws that would actually make it easy for families to adopt them.?
the panic that had begun to set in, now took over. I couldnt breathe & thought Id lose it right there in the shampoo/hair accessories aisle. I thought, maybe cute little ponytail holders, scrunchies or headbands? but they crop the girls hair right to their head. Can you say lice? no shampoo?
no hair= dumb gift idea.
I found solace in the deserted patio clearance aisle, amidst the broken pots & picked over supposed-to-be-cute- ceramic frogs.. (which I swear were looking at me with maniacal sneers)..."youll never find a good gift, they will take one look at you & be screaming for the "detsky dom" (orphange)
realizing, that knowing retail, they probably had all available survelience cameras turned on the lunatic woman, who was muttering to herself, while wiping away tears & butting her head against the metal BBQ grills... I straightened up took a deep breath & prayed my running mascara didnt make me look as crazed as I felt.
I settled for mini magna doodles (that they could use in the future to draw pix of the pain & suffering they felt at the thought of this strange lady possibly adopting them..)
And I did over-compensate on the candy.. sue me, and some stickers & little purses
& markers they could play with on the 11 hr plane ride. The flite attendents will be calling me names, as I didnt have the presence of mind to search for the washable kind. Serious array of writing utensils...Smells like Cherry markers,,, Glitter markers,
Invisable Ink markers, Glow in the dark Markers.....if i was truly going to lose my mind, let it at least be from the luxury of being a noble cause..
Back home; sitter for kids- neighbor feed the dog & 3 cats- Studio closed & staff briefed. Hotel booked, tickets planned,laundry going- photos put in little book so if we commit she will have pix of us to take with her, until we bring her home for good.
Quick chat with friendly research internet woman- & I realize her name needs to be finalized on the petion to adopt paperwork. OMG! we were going to adopt a younger child & change her name to Summer Cosette (more on that choice later) if she is 5 or 7 or 8 what if she wants to keep
OLGA?
SVELTLANA?
LUDMILA?
grab tablet start scribbling my fav names, current name & new last name to see howd they sound... (havent done that, or visited that anguished memory, of 3rd grade when I just KNEW Id marry my classmate Don Ware and have to be Mrs Underware ( again i was 9)
quick check with the host mom at 10 pm for directions from airport.
STATE OF MIND: EXHILERATED in the dawning realization that if this little 5 yr old girl doesnt have 3 heads & spits on me I will adopt her instantly!
"Discussing Politics with Putin" discs 1-2000 nope
"Conversational Russian for the World Traveler" uh- I think not..
" Where are the Clubs? I need Vodka"
Russia for Spring Breakers. fun, but no
"Russian for Dummies" AH! got it!!
next: PRESENTS!
trucking down the road, repeating " Im hungry" in mutilated Russian ( add the fact that I grew up in Hawaii & live in Georgia, talk about FUNKY ACCENT!)
I almost get side swiped by a car (apparently not understanding
Im in "mission mode HEL-LO!" )
I holler something akin to "QUIT THAT" in what I thought was pretty darn good Russian!! ;)
OK, Im in Target. normally I can come out with 45 things I wasnt looking for, but NO-ooo... today I drove like a crazy woman up & down, scanning the aisles not finding the perfect
Hi. Here... please like me, I want YOU gift.
Cool how about CLOTHES? ya! That would be fun.. nope they will take them away next week & let everyone wear them ( including the boys) as if undernourished, resource deprived, helpless orphans arent enough of a visual. Let alone a skinny boy draped in a hot pink Hello Kitty tee shirt....and matching capris.
DOLLS ? perfect!! I loved dolls as a kid! But um these girls are as old as 8, maybe they wouldnt still like dolls? (we had originally agreed to adopt a 2-4 yr old, this older girl thing was all new to me) I grabbed three of everything in the event we got to meet all of the cute faces they had sent pix of.
"BABY, ROCK-A-BYE" uh.. maybe not, seeing as how the kids are known to rock themselves to sleep or when upset. I have patience for the kids, but the doll will have to pay for her own therapy...
"BABY EATS ALOT"....cute, love that she comes with her own fake snacks & juice... but NO! the kids tend to be starved & hoard food for themselves.. what if they ingest her plastic goldfish and need unavailble medical attention???
"BABY CHANGE ME" (comes with diapers,wipes, & god forbid a gooey fake poopy substance...)
again NO. babies there dont even wear diapers, & from what I heard the strict harsh bathroom rituals are enough to make a grown man lapse into a fetal position.
ok ok ok! think here...... PENS!
with glitter & furry things growing out of their tops. but WAIT!
they dont go to school... who would they write to? ( perhaps their congressman, who could help write laws that would actually make it easy for families to adopt them.?
the panic that had begun to set in, now took over. I couldnt breathe & thought Id lose it right there in the shampoo/hair accessories aisle. I thought, maybe cute little ponytail holders, scrunchies or headbands? but they crop the girls hair right to their head. Can you say lice? no shampoo?
no hair= dumb gift idea.
I found solace in the deserted patio clearance aisle, amidst the broken pots & picked over supposed-to-be-cute- ceramic frogs.. (which I swear were looking at me with maniacal sneers)..."youll never find a good gift, they will take one look at you & be screaming for the "detsky dom" (orphange)
realizing, that knowing retail, they probably had all available survelience cameras turned on the lunatic woman, who was muttering to herself, while wiping away tears & butting her head against the metal BBQ grills... I straightened up took a deep breath & prayed my running mascara didnt make me look as crazed as I felt.
I settled for mini magna doodles (that they could use in the future to draw pix of the pain & suffering they felt at the thought of this strange lady possibly adopting them..)
And I did over-compensate on the candy.. sue me, and some stickers & little purses
& markers they could play with on the 11 hr plane ride. The flite attendents will be calling me names, as I didnt have the presence of mind to search for the washable kind. Serious array of writing utensils...Smells like Cherry markers,,, Glitter markers,
Invisable Ink markers, Glow in the dark Markers.....if i was truly going to lose my mind, let it at least be from the luxury of being a noble cause..
Back home; sitter for kids- neighbor feed the dog & 3 cats- Studio closed & staff briefed. Hotel booked, tickets planned,laundry going- photos put in little book so if we commit she will have pix of us to take with her, until we bring her home for good.
Quick chat with friendly research internet woman- & I realize her name needs to be finalized on the petion to adopt paperwork. OMG! we were going to adopt a younger child & change her name to Summer Cosette (more on that choice later) if she is 5 or 7 or 8 what if she wants to keep
OLGA?
SVELTLANA?
LUDMILA?
grab tablet start scribbling my fav names, current name & new last name to see howd they sound... (havent done that, or visited that anguished memory, of 3rd grade when I just KNEW Id marry my classmate Don Ware and have to be Mrs Underware ( again i was 9)
quick check with the host mom at 10 pm for directions from airport.
STATE OF MIND: EXHILERATED in the dawning realization that if this little 5 yr old girl doesnt have 3 heads & spits on me I will adopt her instantly!
posted by Just. Me. at 4:37 PM
1 Comments:
Rain, have you seen the movie Annie? We are all little girls looking to be home. Even now, your daughter is reaching out for you. She is already yours and you are already hers. I know Gods hands are on you both and you will be together soon. I have taken a lot of comfort in the verse that describes life like a race. I was asking God why I feel like i'm running up hill right now and he told me "because you are" You are not out for a stroll, you are running. Full force. Hair flying. Pushing through obstacles. The end of the verse says run the race to win. Thats how I see you. Running hard.
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